Saturday, June 9, 2007
Remembered this from Steffi's lj long ago:
"I wonder, if I had a gun, whether everything will still be so blood-free."
It's odd, isn't it, how everyone judges. Because whether you admit or not, you've judged someone before. And when you think about it, which one of us has a right to judge others? Unless we're better than the other party, we don't have any right to make an opinion on the person. So often we compare ourselves to others, "I'm better than her", "She thinks she's right, but obviously she's wrong", "What kind of example does she set". Ah, fuck off. It's none of your business man. I suppose we all have our own opinions, our own morals, but when your opinion makes sense, it doesn't equate to all other opinions not making sense, you know? That selfish, self-centered attitude of yours, bugs me. You can go ahead and make your world perfect, but I'm happy with the way mine is imperfect, because that means there's space to learn. Sometimes we concentrate so much on practicalities, on how to organise this and that, we fail to realise the essence of the situation itself. The blessings in it. The people. And the impact the event will have on them. Why? Why try so hard to make everything perfect? Why make everything perfect when it will lose it's core? Why not forgo the perfect bit, and let the mood be lighter? You can choose to judge, go ahead, but me, I have chosen to stay out of all this fucking nonsense, and be my happy little self with my notes, textbooks and TYSes. Well you wonder what Christianity teaches people sometimes. I can't answer that.
It's been a little more than one and a half weeks. And after not listening to a song for more than 8 months, it's back on my playlist again. And each time I hear it, my pulse doubles, I stop breathing, and space out for a little while.
You know the funny thing about Math questions? When you complete one and get it correct, you feel a rush of adrenaline that makes you smile and go "YES I GOT IT." But when you get it wrong, or when you get stuck half way, and when you keep getting wrong answers after doing it over and over, you want to throw the pen out of the window, clench your fists and start punching the wall non-stop until you drain yourself out.
Tried converting cos3t and sin3t into tan(3t - PI/4).
wrong.
wrong.
wrong.
wrong.
wrong.
WRONG.
bloody fucking WRONG.